Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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