After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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