I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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