its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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