More tranny stories later!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
