u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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