AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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