He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
