I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
