Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Randomize
