I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
