I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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