I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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