fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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