I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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