If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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