Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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