? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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