It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.