Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.