You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Porn is love you can see.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
