does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
