I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
