i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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