I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
