will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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