ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
