ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
