I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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