so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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