ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
