girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
