my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.