Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.