I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize