His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize