I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
