his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
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So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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