You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
