I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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