if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We're too hungover to prance.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
