I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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