And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...