how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
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Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.