hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.