That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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