another moral hangover. fuck.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
