this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
