another moral hangover. fuck.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
