Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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