The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
