i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
