Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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