whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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