Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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