My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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