i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
