Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
