it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
