the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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