it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
